After isolating myself for such a long time I began to realize that nobody else has anything to do with the way I feel. I always thought I was disliked by everyone and I cherry-picked every little detail about what other people did so I could rationalize my illusions about how other people felt about me.
My complaints and inappropriate reactions to what other people did were all based on the illusion that external events were the cause of my feelings. So what is the real cause? Just my natural brain chemistry, imbalanced, creating a permanent state of hopelessness with rare bouts of normal, whatever that is.
This is true for everyone. Our perceptions of events and people are colored by the present balance of brain chemistry and brain physiology determined primarily by our genetics. Beyond our genetics, our Neurological Makeup was influenced by outside things like chemicals or radiation, malnutrition and stress on one or both parents.
Evolution dictates that our genes were influenced by the environment of our parents and their parents too, all the way back to the beginning.
We all see the same basic colors, but knowing that some people are color-blind tells me that none of us may see the exact same shade of any color.
Think about the way other people look at you? You are responsible for how you feel. Apparently some authority figures have yet to grasp the concept that emotions are a personal responsibility, such as the incident that occurred in Florida: 14-year-old-tackled-choked-giving-police-dehumanizing-stare . The only dehumanizing was in the mind of the officer.
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